Getting Faced On People's Court

You should really consider if you need to be a lawyer if you lose and get humiliated by the judge on The People's Court.  You should really be able to win there.  Every time.

Tazing the Bailiff

Okay, I want a reality show of this courthouse.  The defendant tries to kick his own lawyer, the bailiff gets tazed, and then just look at the outfit they concoct!

All Lizzie Borden jokes aside ...

This guy is serious about his cigarettes ...

Justice is blind ... and naked

You have the right to remain silent.  And to get naked.  And to kneal down on the ground.  Awkwardly.  Do you understand your rights?

Note to Defendants: Never Call a Judge a "B*tch in a Robe."

Seriously.  Just don't.  And don't do that whole bit about wishing the prosecutor was stillborn.  Doesn't help.

"Bye bye"

I believe this judge had had enough ...

Now That's Commitment

I had a distraught young man ask me to represent him in a divorce.  He loved his wife very much; so much so that he had her name tattooed in very large (very, very large!) letters between his elbow and his wrist on the inside of his forearm.

When she broke it off, it was more than he could take.  One day at court, he told me, almost weeping:

"I loved that woman.  I stuck everything I had into her."