Sunday, February 21, 2010
The Jury In The Twitter Age
I wrote an interesting piece on The Jury In The Twitter Age. You can read it here.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
Actual courtroom quotes
I got this years ago ... a list of some classic courtroom moments. Enjoy.
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
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Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
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Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
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Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
************************************************************************
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo before the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
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Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights
flashing?
A: Yes.
Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: What did she say?
A: 'What disco am I at?'
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Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't
know about it until the next morning?
************************************************************************
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
************************************************************************
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
************************************************************************
Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
************************************************************************
Q: Did he kill you?
************************************************************************
Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
***********************************
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
************************************************************************
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
************************************************************************
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
************************************************************************
Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: I went to Europe, Sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?
************************************************************************
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
************************************************************************
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Getting Faced On People's Court
You should really consider if you need to be a lawyer if you lose and get humiliated by the judge on The People's Court. You should really be able to win there. Every time.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Tazing the Bailiff
Okay, I want a reality show of this courthouse. The defendant tries to kick his own lawyer, the bailiff gets tazed, and then just look at the outfit they concoct!
Friday, November 27, 2009
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